Mixed Emotions
by Konorai
Summary: Discontinued


_Mixed Emotions…_

_I'm drowning in them aren't I?_

_I've always dreamt that you would be there to save me._

_But I wake up every night to see that it was nothing but._

_Our positions keep us separated._

_Will it never come true?_

_My dream…hopes…wishes too?_

_If I lost everything,_

_It wouldn't matter as long as you were there._

_Heh--you would never understand these strange feelings I have towards you._

_We need to kill each other._

_If I killed you, my guilt would no longer allow me to live; or at least with sanity._

_But to die alongside you,_

_Is that what I truly want?_

_Or do I want something more…?_

_Something…more precious…_

_No, I don't want that._

_I __**need **__it._

_I __**need you**__._

_But with these standings,_

_I doubt it will be nothing more than a dream._

_A sick, twisted, lovely dream._

Light only had time to take a glimpse at the detective next to him before refocusing his attention to bringing up files on each member of Yotsuba. He took as much as he could from the glance and kept typing, each tap on the keyboard clashing the chains of the cold metal handcuffs together. It had been about a month since Yagami and Amane had completely changed personalities while being imprisoned, and Light hadn't felt so free since; or at least, that's what it seemed like. On the outside, he was hard at work trying to bring Kira to justice and win L's trust. In his mind, however, things were totally different. Eighty different things could be running through his head, although lately, all other thoughts were being blocked out by the most significant one of them all. _"Ryuusaki…"_ the alias that Light had come to know the sugar fanatic as. It would ring in his head for seconds, minutes, hours, days. It was beginning to drive him mad. Even as he rapidly pressed the different keys in front of him, his eyes continued to glaze over to L a few more times. Attempting to take his mind off hid main interest, Light paused his work and stood up from his chair.

"I need a break." He muttered, shifting in the direction of the door. "Alright then, take your time." Light's obsession answered, not taking his wide, unblinking eyes off the screen for even a moment. The auburn haired teen hesitated to leave the room, but brought himself to do so. He opened the door in front of him, walked through, and gently shut it behind him. He stood there for a moment, the bangs of his hair covering his face, and he started to wander around the halls. Every door he passed, like a choice in his mind. A choice he could make about the standings. _"Am I…truly Kira? Did I just transfer my memories of being Kira to someone in Yotsuba? Did L used to trust me? Will he ever trust me again...if he ever did before?" _Light thought, muttering some of his thoughts aloud. He paused his walk as he noticed the room he was in front of. He slightly turned his head towards the door. Curious about that particular room, he stepped closer, and invited himself inside.

As his wings flapped through the air, and the apple stolen from the farmers market crunched, Ryuk hoarsely chuckled as he watched the former owner of his Death Note through the window. "How are ya gonna handle this situation Light. All I did was wipe your memory." He mumbled to himself. His seemingly permanent grin grew wider, and so did his eyes that watched random numbers float above everyone's heads. "Oh? What's this? This doesn't seem like a part of the plan you explained Light." he said, intrigued as Light entered the room without knowing which room he was entering in the first place. "Where are you off to now Light?" Ryuk asked with sarcasm, taking a bite out of the apple. "This is even more interesting than I thought it would be…"

The room was completely dark and silent. Light tried to turn on the light switch, but it was a little stuck. He didn't bother to keep trying and looked around, closing the door behind him. There was nothing in the room except for a laptop, and two speakers. "I…really shouldn't…" he muttered to himself, before defying his conscience and activating the laptop, slightly illuminating the dark room. He sat down in front of it and put his hand on the floor to lean on until he felt something underneath his hand. He lifted it to see a flash drive near the laptop. Curious, he put it in the laptop and went to go look at the files in the flash drive. While browsing through the files, all about the Kira case, he stumbled on a picture file among a bunch of text files. He clicked the picture eagerly and studied it as it popped up on the screen. There were four people involved in the photo, one being Light's current obsession, another being a blond girl, eying a white haired kid angrily while biting some chocolate. The white haired boy looked towards the camera confused, as if not expecting someone to be taking their picture, and a boy with goggled that were on his forehead just enough so he could clearly see his video game.

The door creakily opened surprising Light and causing him to twist towards the door, startled. The familiar, barefooted figure looked at Light, confused. "Light, what are you doing in my room?"


End file.
